ab’s punishments July 29, 2009

reason         -date         –  severity level (5 being the most severe and 1 least)

1.for making me wait in severe pain just immediately after my surgery after promising me the u ll come online in 15 mins and u came after 150 mins – on jul 23 – level 5

2.for causing a terrible head ache after the nite out on sat – jul 26 – level 3 (as partly am also responsible 😀 )

to be updated

Brain Vs Girlfriend July 28, 2009

No prices for guessing who won at last. Nice one……….

Akash was waiting for his love ….
“30 minutes late!!”, his brain shouted at him, “Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up … remember??”
“Yeah yeah”, he said to his brain, “You know her … all moody and stuff …. oh there she is”
“Scold her OK?”, his brain adviced.
“OK I will try”
Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says “Im sorry honey .. I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you”
“What if you had said that line buddy?”, shouted his brain … “she would have had a nervous breakdown”
Akash ignored his brain .. “Its OK honey .. its only half an hour . no problem”
She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked “Hope you remember what occasion is today”
“OMG!!!”, thought Akash …..
“Brain … search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about”
Brain got into action … he started delegating work to different parts …
parallel processing .. multiple search ………. complete memory scan.
Sheetal stared at Akash …. “Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2 minutes now … u OK?”
“Huh!!!”, he said, “Oh … nothing’s wrong .. was lost in thought”
“No records found”, said the brain …
“Da**mn!!”, thought Akash
“So what say … how do we celebrate this day?”, she asked.
Akash is all confused … “Ask her ….dumbo?”.. said the brain
“OK OK …stop pushing me”
“Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, she shouted … and started crying.
“How could you forget!! ….. its my doggy’s birthday”
“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
A moment of silence.
His entire brain staff was laughing at him.
Akash was dumbfounded.
“What the hell am I supposed to do know?”, he asked his brain.
“Damage control sequence initialized … dont worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right”
“Better do it fast ..brainy”
The brain was working at 90% capacity …. gathering and analyzing all data on ‘How to handle women?’
Finally an answer was computed and communicated to Akash.
He looked up to her, and said “Of Course I remember your doggy’s bday .. how can I forget that sweet mutt’s special day”
She looked up with utter surprise …
“HUH!!!!!!! …….. Doggy is the name of my cat you je**rk”
She stood up angrily and left.
Akash and his brain were left there clueless .

12 quick make up steps July 25, 2009

1 [moisturiser]-optional
2 loreal beige foundation stick – on the whole face and neck including lips, as it ll make lip stick stay longer
3 compact/powder
4 [concealer or highlight for the center of nose – needed only to emphasize the sharp nose] – optional
5 eyebrows
6 eye shadow-darkest shade on the corner of eye,lightest shade on the beginning and smoothly blending it at the

center of the eye..one small golden/silver speck on the center of the eye ball to highlite
7 eyeliner as close as possible to the upper lashes
8 black mascara only on upper eye lashes – the lash thickening is a big no no as it creates a very dramatic look
9 eye pencil/kajal pencil on the lower lid – taking it from inside the lid as it ll smudge
10 very lil blush on on the cheek bones
11 lip liner
12 gloss for young peppy look/lipstick for heavy party look

do’s
loreal natural beige foundation stick
maybelline natural mist compact
clinique beige gloss
loreal cherry / plum gloss
lip and eye shades only from cherry/plum/darkest pink and lavendar families
eye shades only from cherry/plum/maroon
french brand busio natural rose pink gloss & giordino orangish maroon gloss
blue and bluish green eye liner for a sparkle
go for off white,cream,maroon,yellow,green,sky blue,orange and classic black n white

dont’s
no brown eye liner
no lite pink,rose pink,red,orange lip shades or any lite color lip shades and glosses
avoid beige,brown,dark brown,choclatey shades lip colors as much as possible
no greys,pure whites,browns,pinks,lite pink

Tax Filing made simple July 24, 2009

As Easy as 1-2-3!

Tax filing season’s back again. But this year, getting that boring task out of the way is as easy as 1-2-3. Just visit http://www.taxshila.in, the simplest and most intuitive online tax filing website!

Taxshila lets you file your income tax in quick and easy steps:

– Register

– Enter Details

– eFile

When you register, Taxshila sends a verification email to you. You confirm it and create your personal profile.

Next, you upload your Form 16.

You verify your tax summary and pay via a secure payment gateway. Review your prepared ITR and file.

Taxshila files your returns electronically with the I-T Department. Once you receive the ITR-V by email from the I-T Department, print, sign and send the ITR-V by post to the I-T Department. Taxshila will also arrange to pick-up the ITR-V, “free of cost” and post it to the Income Tax Department as a value-add.

It’s that simple. And it costs exactly Rs 250.

Check it out. If you have questions, write to support@taxshila.in OR contact Support at 9900087829.

SAFETY AND SECURITY TIPS FOR WOMEN AT WORKPLACE

As an organization that services global clients and operates in a 24X7 support employee well-being. However, there are certain points that a lady associate must note.

WOMEN WORKING LATE ALONE

• As far as possible Lady associates must leave in time unless instructed  to stay late by GL/PL for a specific purpose.
• Never stay back too late, unless you are assured of a safe drop back home.
• At your workplace if you are suspicious of people hanging around or receive strange phone calls notify the security and other associates.
• If you feel uncomfortable after someone enters your workplace, be aware and be prepared to call the security.

• If somebody you work with makes you uncomfortable, discuss the

situation with a co-worker you trust.

• Know colleagues in your projects, and be aware of their schedules.
• If you suspect someone of stalking, call security. Find out who the person is. Give a description of the person.

• If you must meet new work contacts out of the workplace, meet at a public place.  Never go to lonely dark places or the terrace. Keep personal information minimum and private.
• When entering an elevator, stand next to the controls. Wait for the next elevator if you feel uneasy about the occupants. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, push the button for the next floor or push the alarm.

• Let security or a friend know you are working late; tell them when you expect to leave.
• If you enter a washroom and you suspect someone suspicious might be in there, leave immediately. Find a safe area and phone for help.
• Your cell phone is one of the most important things you can have on you, if you need assistance or during an emergency. Store the emergency numbers.
• Program an emergency contact in your phone so that he or she can be notified in the event of an emergency. Use the acronym “ICE” “In Case of Emergency” on your phone.

BASIC PREVENTION

• Avoid wearing costly jewellery, carrying large amounts of cash and also adhere to the dress code. Do not carry credit cards unless necessary.
• Never accept a lift back home from colleagues you do not know well.
• Never step out alone for dinner or other places while working late
• Avoid intimate talk or giving away personal details while using your mobile.
• Park your vehicle in lighted areas and near cameras if possible. If you feel uncomfortable walking out to your vehicle, ask someone to escort you.
• Keep alert while walking; look over your shoulder to see if someone is following you.
• Cell phones are a distraction and will make you less aware of your surroundings.
• Searching your purse, wearing headphones or struggling with heavy briefcases and uncomfortable clothing reduces your ability to be prepared.

• Spread your personal possessions. For example; keep your keys separate from your credit cards. Keep some cash separate from your credit cards. In the event you are robbed or you lose your wallet or purse, all of your important possessions are not in one place.
• If someone demands your wallet or purse, throw it in one direction and run in the opposite direction. Do not resist.

RIDING THE BUS/TRANSIT SYSTEM

• Carry a schedule. After dark, arrive just before the transit vehicle is due.
• Develop a buddy system with fellow associates so that you are not the only one waiting at the bus stop.
• Once inside the bus, sit with a group and inform the driver if you are being bothered.
• Never get friendly with  unknown people.
• On alighting, look back to see if you are being followed.
• If you are walking on a lonely stretch at a late hour on the way back home, ensure you have an escort.
• If you are dropped home by a company cab insist on an escort if you are the last to be dropped.

DRIVING

• Park in well lit spaces. Walk with others after dark.
• If car park area is dark and not illuminated, call security or walk with a colleague. Develop a buddy system for employees to get to car parks after work.
• If you use Underground Park, make sure you park is near the attendant or exit.

• Always lock your car and keep all windows tightly closed.
• Have your key ready, check inside the car to be sure no one is hiding.
• Don’t open your car window more than one inch to speak to someone, or just drive away if you feel uncomfortable.
• If you suspect another car is following your car, do not go home. Drive to a service/police/fire station and stay in your car, honking the horn in short repeated blasts until someone comes out to help you.

IF YOUR CAR BREAKS DOWN

• Call for help.  Park near inhabited place. Do not raise the hood of your car as that stops you from noticing if someone is approaching the car.
• Stay in the car with windows closed and doors locked, till help arrives

WALKING

• Wear comfortable shoes, such as runners.
• If you are using a stairwell, be sure it is well lit and that you can quickly exit to a safe place.
• Stay on well lit streets, in the centre of the sidewalk, away from bushes, doorways and parked cars – anywhere that an attacker could hide. Cross the road if necessary.
• If you think someone is following you, turn around and check. Let them know you are aware of their presence. Do not go to your car or your house. Cross the street and go to a safe place

TAKING ACTION AGAINST AN ATTACK

• Carry a personal safety device in case of danger.

• If you feel threatened, make a scene, yell, and call for help.
• Press the Fire alarm or call out to security when in danger
• Use whatever force you feel is necessary to escape the situation and be ready to take the first opportunity to take action and get away.
• Yell loudly and repeatedly. Try shouting, HELP, NO and STOP. Push a personal safety alarm, and bang on something noisy. BE LOUD AND PERSISTENT.

LEAVE CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS/INFORMATION AT THE WORKPLACE

• Tell staff or friends/family members if you are working alone, where you are going and when you expect to arrive and leave. Leave emergency contact numbers.
• Make sure anyone attending to your business, mail or phone machine does not give out personal information, address, and cell phone numbers.
• You may approach ethical counselor if you are subject to any kind of  workplace harassment

Laadli – A girl child campaign

Anusha recently visited Laadli.org and has suggested informing you of the campaign.
Laadli – A girl child campaign is Population First’s campaign against sex selection and falling sex ratio.

The falling sex ratio of the country is a demographic disaster that is waiting to happen in the near future. Compared to 1991 when there were no districts having less than 800 girls per thousand boys, the census data of 2001 revealed that 16 districts are having sex ratios below 800 in the country. The Sample Registration System data also indicates that the trend is not only continuing but is actually intensifying ever since. Social values, medical malpractices desire for small families coupled with strong son preference, the undervaluing of women in society and media and finally increasing violence and social insecurity are largely responsible for these phenomena.

Our objective is of getting one million signatures against the practice of sex selection. This will form the backbone of the approach to the political parties, coercing them into supporting a gender protection manifesto which will force the new government to implement the stringent laws against female foeticide.

Please visit WWW.LAADLI.ORG to support the campaign

Best regards,

/////////////////////////////////
LAADLI.ORG

AP’s kiddo’s bday

I was totally in splits after reading AP’s invitation..am totally excited abt this event.it feels so nice when it comes to meet old friends 🙂

Dear all,

It has been a  long time that we all met,Now we got an occasion to meet.It’s my Kid’s First Birth day (03-Aug-09).

I request all of you to attend this function/get together.Pls consider this as my personal invitation.

We the Key Builders/Founders of (Not Considered and deleted *.JUNK from the Invitation List) Tsunami Early warning Systems (God knows whether it is going to work or not in the event of Tsunami , Vj S (3rd party jar files) might be knowing this better)  has got the chance to meet and get together.So don’t miss it.

Expecting to see all of U.

Timestamp : 2009-08-03-19.30.00.000000

Venue : Hyderabad

Cake cutting at around 7:30 PM then Dinner Follows.

Pls find attached Route map for the Venue. (S & K know my residence)

Thanks & Regards,

AP

technial lexicon July 23, 2009

Nandan Nilekani’s first day in the Parliament

Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter….

The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.

Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.

It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it’s here as well!!!!

I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”.

Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!

MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION

I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.

The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.

The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.

“You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”

shop non stop July 21, 2009

oh god! such a long and tiring day it was !! i thought i ll faint by eod. thankfully am alrite now. first of all i slept for only 4 hours yesterday nite. spoke to abhi from 5 to 10 around 5 hrs. then i tried catching up on a lil sleep for another hour. mom woke me up suddenly from a dream..damn! i was dreaming abt ab. i picked up jhanu, we went to leathers , the suitcases with colors i wanted weren’t there .so he asked us to chk back after 40 mins.we wen’t to central to kill some time and got overwhelmed by the happiness sale. picked up quite a few things which i did not realize until it was time to pay the bill. it was already too late by then.damn! my card wasn’t working 😦 i was like bahiya …card ko phir se swipe karo !! then met tht vandana female , my prospective roomie over lunch at central.after tht we went to buy the suitcases and then stopped for those thermal wear, tracks and other etc stuff. spent 2 hours in tht shop. then we went to tht titan eye+
and got the shock of our life when he said tht the frame was 2500 phew !! stopped over at minerva for a cup of hot choclate and went to drop jhanu back home. there was some sick procession and party meeting at dsnr and a terrible traffic jam for quite some time. it was 8:30 by the time i reached home. i left home at 12:00 and came back after 9.5 hrs ! wtf did i shop for 9.5 hrs 😐
getting scared abt dental appnt tomm 😦