I had a quiet unceremonious big 3.0 bday compared to all the guys known to me who were welcomed on to other side. In fact i can publish for the fact that this is the world’s best kept secret. The moment passed unnoticed. I felt the need to blog after a long time. May be because I took the time to step back and notice what is changed and what is going on.. Everything seems to be in a hurry. No Time for anything. No Time for anyone. It is turning out to be a battle to get to next appointment on time, to complete next task on time, to take care of unplanned things on time. Lose this moment pay for it later. Lose this opportunity regret it later. Series of things I started noticing from last evening. Met Ashley on my birthday evening for monday night mini. Given the location in downtown, factoring all the peak traffic, i did chart for a 45 minutes. But, it took me more than hour. The fuel warning went off and had to make a pit stop to refuel. Had a deep intense conversation on the “what if” questions 17 months ago. Found some good foundation to start my journey for second time. Spent time with S had dinner at s bhavan and got home late. Slept late and woke up late. The struggle starts. The struggle to cook, arrange S bag, complete kriya, leave on time is intense. Don’t want to compromise anywhere on the standard. Reached late. Pleasant surprise to find some decorations on desk. Embarrassing at same time. Even though I knew Tuel presentation is going to be excellent had to miss all of it except last 10 minutes. Add to this the need to connect and oblige with Sis in law, take care of work mail etc. If only i had extra 30 minutes or may be an hour by waking up early. Today was the first time in past few days when i was really mad at bachi for not coming and helping me in kitchen or with anything. I cannot blame him now as I did not set the expectation that he needs to help and also he has a call he needs to attend just like every tuesday. But, how much can i blame myself and beat myself up for not being that perfect employee, perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect sister in law all at the same time? Few things that stood out and made me burst with laughter
Returning home after meeting Ashley, S was jumping with joy as usual with Blnc. Blnc is so funny saying this baby eat too much. this baby is hypppiir. In fact she eats all the food. But, I am so blessed to have some one take care of S when i need some alone time occasionally from breaking down.
The way S cling on to me with the lawn mower in front of daycare. LOL.
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